Ik ben een notoire mooiweerloper. Het aantal geschikte loopdagen komt hiermee in Nederland op 4. Om mijn hardloopaspiraties toch enigszins over de zomer heen te tillen, schrijf ik mij stelselmatig in voor de 4 Mijl, om direct na mijn aanmelding enorme spijt te krijgen.
Meteen na het aanmelden omcirkel ik de datum van de 4 Mijl op de kalender. Om er vervolgens bij het omslaan van de kalender naar oktober achter te komen dat er nog een week voorbereidingstijd rest. Dit betekent dus nog enkele rondjes ploeteren door de eerste herfststormen van het jaar. En dat is dan nog het leukste van de 4 Mijl.
Het echte afzien begint op de dag zelf. Uren voor de start sta je te blauwbekken in Haren, samen met duizenden idioten die ook zonder goede reden naast je staan. Na een paar uur drentelen in het centrum van Haren, moet je je melden in het startvak.
Voordat je hier bent volgt een wandeltocht langs een eindeloze rij Dixies en de rijen op de Dixies wachtenden mensen. Hierdoor begin je, zonder dat de aandrang er daadwerkelijk is, te geloven dat je toch een sanitaire stop moet maken. Dankzij deze sociale druk sluit je daarom schoorvoetend aan in de wachtrij voor een Dixi om er vervolgens achter te komen dat je eerste ingeving juist was. Je hoeft helemaal niet.
Even later sta je massaal lepeltje-lepeltje in het startvak en schuif je langzaam op richting de start. Dan klinkt het startschot en sprint je een meter of 2 volle bak. Daarna zit je ingesloten in de meute en schakel je terug naar wandeltempo. Eenmaal op de Verlengde Hereweg ontstaat er ruimte en moet je je het snot voor de ogen slalommen om de verloren tijd goed te maken.
Blind van woede pak je vervolgens moeiteloos de Herebrug en dan volgt natuurlijk de Herestraat. Meteen vervloek je de voorlaatste ijstijd en de mensen die de Herestraat als een ideale plek voor een groepsfoto beschouwen. Je stormt gefrustreerd over de finish en baalt van je altijd tegenvallende tijd.
Op naar volgend jaar. Ik heb er zin in!
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